Why is it that the girls get the lovely flattering color and the guys get beige's evil step-sister khaki?

which is totally evident from the comments I receive on basically every blog. All the same, this shirt is kind of pulling a "How-The-Grinch-Stole Christmas-Heart-Size-Changing" on me. I mean, on paper I should totally hate it. It really has no place on a t-shirt, is printed on my arch-nemesis Beige's evil step-sisters Natural and Creme (which by the way, is not actually a word), and features some strange Pocohontas-on-acid raccoon. But you know what? It's f***ing cute! And not just the kind of cute that's limited to 6 year olds and Lisa Frank. Anyway, I'm sure this is just a fluke and I'll go back to being a bitter, angry gay man soon. Until then, this has my undivided approval.

I went "Dammit! When the hell are the Selects going to shape up!" and then I realized that this wasn't a Select, it just looked like one. Which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on whether or not you like to walk around with non-sensical art drawn on your body. If you don't, you can help me in my vendetta against Selects by adding to my shrine created from my collection of poly-blend shirts from the 70's and back issues of V magazine. If you do, well then, you know, buy the shirt.

So first and foremost this shirt is banging. And I figure that banging is the kind of word that could mean different things depending on where you live, but to me it means it's awesome. Let's just get that out of the way.

What I really feel the need to bring up today is that threadless is many things. It's kicky. It's fun. It's a t-shirt website. It's not, however, deviantart. Now, don't get me wrong, deviantart is awesome, but deviantart is where you go to postup your crazy kickass artwork. Threadless is where you go to make good t-shirts.

Now at this point, reader, you may be thinking "Well, uhhh...yeah." The point seems pretty simple, right? Apparantly not so. Because for every kickass design like this one there's one where the artist is much less focused on making a good shirt and much more focused on showing everyone how good they are at Adobe Illustrator. And while the artwork may be nice, it really has no place splashed across my torso.

I understand that, as usual, the comments section will most likely be transformed into a fiery river of hate, which is cool, you guys all have your own opinions- just please consider this the next time you buy a Select. And then buy this shirt.

So I have my own personal views on the vast (vast) majority of Threadless Select tees. But I'm willing to leave Select out of this, just this once.
So I go to art school, which is fun and challenging and lets me meet interesting people. Some of those people, keeping in an age-old stereotype, decide to overdo it with the hallucinogens. Usually they're nice, if a little on the odd side. They don't tend to dress well, you know, as a group. But I'm pretty sure that any given one of them would have the style, the common sense, the EYES to look at this design and say "well I don't do THAT MANY mushrooms."

Which of the newly released shirts are NOT better than this one that costs twice as much?!


Anyone?.....

Really?.....

Yeah, that's what I thought.

This shirt is awesome
But wouldn't he look better
If he took it off?

I understand that threadless is really (like, really really) geared toward design. I understand and appreciate this. Do I find a large amount of the shirts printed of questionable taste? Sort of. Do I find at the very least good hunk of the shirts printed fantastic? Definetely. So why is it that all of the type tees are my favorite shirts? This one is so good it's almost narcotic. It hasn't been released for 24 hours and is almost sold out in my size (due in small part to my purchase). Threadless, we've had our ups and downs in the past, but keep putting out type tees and I'll find a way to make this relationship work.

PS. do you know what i've just done? I've bought a shirt that's beige. BEIGE!!! I am as white as Tiger Woods' personality and I just bought a beige shirt! That's how good this is! I'm willing to risk matching my shirt to my skin tone in order to wear this.

So these Threadless Select designers are people who, I assume, are very talented at what they do. Otherwise Threadless wouldn't have enlisted them to design things and charge double the ordinary price. However, you'd think that with Threadless always picking different artists we would be recieving totally different designs. Not so! Every single Select Tee has something in common! Have you noticed? They all suck!! Remember the purple shirt with the giant intestinal chewing gum monster? He was fun. And now look what we have- a shirt of nouns! It's like Target teamed up with Louis Vuitton with a splash of catastrophe. Even Ross, (the model on the right) who could wrap himself in raw meat and still look hot in my opinion, seems uncomfortable wearing this shirt. It almost physically attacks you. So I'm forced to wonder, do these designers actually wear clothes? Does threadless find some new nudist or hermit from the depths of the woods each week and say "Ever hear about shirts? Feel like designing some?" In which case I say, bravo for giving these denisens of nudity a fresh opportunity into the wild and wonderful world of clothing. Unless these are regular people making this crap, whereas I really need to check out what kind of shirts they own already. Because if this is normal to them, they have a pretty serious problem.

so don't you hate when you get some great threadless t-shirt (Rock out with your cock out? Pandamonium?) and everyone who sees it needs a 5 minute conversation explaining exactly what the shirt means? And the result is always so lackluster because, i mean, it's an f'ing t-shirt so it's not going to exactly be deep. Do I really want to have to sit and explain to people who Magritte was? Or should I say screw them and have an awesome shirt?