Well.
I gathered all my courage, dutch and otherwise, yesterday and told the boy I've been fancying I really liked him, how about going out sometime? And he said no.

It was really the most sweet refusal ever, but I still feel like shit. Very, very unattractive, embarrassed and over-emotional about it all shit.

It seems most unfair that whenever I develop a fierce crush on somebody they like me, but not in that way, and if someone crushes on me I just don't feel the same. Such a waste of potential tenderness.