My favorite color is METAL.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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Jesus died for what I'm about to do.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
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It takes a lot of effort to be this lazy.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
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Skin cancer is a small price to pay for looking this good.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Clams aren't really happy.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Helen Keller had no sense.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
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Guns don't kill people. But it's a lot harder without one.
of 46 votes, 35% like it
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I'M HAVING TROUBLE CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF MY CAPS LOCK
of 52 votes, 35% like it
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Next time you see me, I'll have my own theme music.
of 55 votes, 42% like it
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Always the innocent bystander, never the guilty party.
of 60 votes, 37% like it
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I've never been a big fan of reality.
of 63 votes, 30% like it
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Circle, circle, dot, dot is not a legitimite medical treatment.
of 57 votes, 32% like it
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I'm only here because my mom told me to go outside.
of 61 votes, 41% like it
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I know the only wrong way to eat a Reese's.
of 58 votes, 34% like it
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"Onomatopoeia" doesn't sound like anything.
of 71 votes, 39% like it
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Apparently you'd rather read my shirt than listen to me.
of 69 votes, 35% like it
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Life: Nobody makes it out alive.
of 69 votes, 33% like it
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Walking on Sunshine would kill you.
of 75 votes, 41% like it
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What I've learned from listening to Polka: Don't.
of 67 votes, 30% like it
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I buy cd's because I like to be different.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
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Hey, at least I'm not the bass player.
of 52 votes, 33% like it
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I don't break hearts. I break spirits.
of 75 votes, 29% like it
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I scream when I pee.
of 74 votes, 15% like it
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I'm really an action figure of a giant ninja.
of 74 votes, 30% like it
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I'm way too cool for an ego
of 65 votes, 22% like it
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Caution: Prone to bad jokes and sarcasm
of 65 votes, 26% like it
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DO YOU WANT KARATE?!
of 63 votes, 21% like it
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My cape is in the wash
of 66 votes, 24% like it
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Living proof that God makes mistakes
of 62 votes, 29% like it
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*actual size
of 80 votes, 39% like it
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Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal
of 72 votes, 36% like it
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I'll piss you off eventually
of 71 votes, 28% like it
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This is what all the cool kids are wearing these days.
of 72 votes, 26% like it
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Love means nothing to tennis players.
of 84 votes, 31% like it
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I'm unstable. But only on a tightrope.
of 72 votes, 25% like it
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Slice like a ninja, talk like a pirate.
of 82 votes, 32% like it
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Half ninja. Half pirate. All rad.
of 82 votes, 30% like it
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Neutrality is okay I guess.
of 80 votes, 36% like it
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I'm bringin' geeky back.
of 77 votes, 25% like it
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I'm much tougher on the internet.
of 78 votes, 26% like it
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.._. .._ _._. _._ morse code!!
of 77 votes, 25% like it
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If you left your heart in San Francisco, you would die.
of 77 votes, 29% like it
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This is as dressed up as I get. Deal with it.
of 77 votes, 25% like it
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Slice like a ninja, cut like an emo kid.
of 77 votes, 22% like it
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When in doubt, Moonwalk.
of 77 votes, 31% like it
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C n y h lp m ? 'm m ss ng s m v w ls.
of 73 votes, 27% like it
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Don't bother me. I'm plotting.
of 82 votes, 35% like it
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If you have to explain the joke, it's no longer funny.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
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I thought the future was supposed to be cooler than this.
of 81 votes, 42% like it
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I spellcheck to ensure my awesomeness.
of 79 votes, 33% like it
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God's gift to mediocrity.
of 75 votes, 24% like it
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If I made the noises Mario makes, I'd jump a lot more often.
of 76 votes, 36% like it
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We all become zombies when we die. Most of us are just lazy.
of 77 votes, 25% like it
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I'm less competitive than you.
of 76 votes, 30% like it
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This shirt is bulletproof. But please just take my word for it.
of 82 votes, 44% like it
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Evolutionary Mishap.
of 76 votes, 30% like it
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[both sides] How do you confuse an idiot? (answer on other side)
of 74 votes, 28% like it
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I'll bet you $20.00 I can get you to gamble.
of 75 votes, 27% like it
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Modern ninja outfit: Now it's even harder to find us.
of 76 votes, 29% like it
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If my body is 98% water, does drinking water make me a cannibal?
of 77 votes, 29% like it
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You were hoping to read something funny, weren't you?
of 76 votes, 26% like it
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If you can read this, you're staring at my chest.
of 76 votes, 25% like it
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My articulation skills are very, very, very, very.....good.
of 76 votes, 26% like it
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I hate emoticons. :(
of 77 votes, 27% like it
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You've never seen a pirate THIS cool.
of 77 votes, 22% like it
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Don't mess with me. I'm pretty sure I have super powers.
of 82 votes, 30% like it
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You would look great if you looked completely different.
of 86 votes, 24% like it
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