Actually, I'd rather not meet your family.
of 52 votes, 19% like it
|
all my black t-shirts are covered in cat hair.
of 58 votes, 19% like it
|
An ace up your sleeve? I guess that makes you a cheater.
of 66 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Any day now, I'm going to get it together. Not tonight, though.
of 67 votes, 28% like it
|
Are you mad at me?
of 48 votes, 23% like it
|
circus hitmen aim for the juggler
of 65 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Did Hemingway start out doing shirt text?
of 31 votes, 16% like it
|
Divorce - it's not just for sinners anymore!
of 50 votes, 18% like it
|
emotionally unavoidable
of 67 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Fashion sinners repant!
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
Feeling bad about your body is how they get you to buy crap.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
Hey kid, nice stroller. Looks like you've got it made.
of 49 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Highspeed is ruining my life.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Honestly, I have a hard time taking your problems seriously.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
I *heart* planets that support life.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I *heart* scientists
of 42 votes, 21% like it
|
I believe in renewable virginity.
of 58 votes, 19% like it
|
I dread ordinary social situations.
of 70 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I feel like swearing.
of 52 votes, 27% like it
|
I feel so naked without a keyboard. Hold me.
of 63 votes, 24% like it
|
I gave up a night on the internet for this, so it better be good.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I googled you last night, and it wasn't the first time.
of 50 votes, 22% like it
|
I have a cooking disorder.
of 62 votes, 18% like it
|
I have friends. I *choose* to dine alone.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I have friends. I *choose* to drink alone.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
I have friends. I *choose* to travel alone.
of 60 votes, 27% like it
|
I have impersonal problems.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
|
|
I hoped to be a novel, but I'm just a line on a shirt.
of 68 votes, 37% like it
|
I hoped to be a novel.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
|
I need supervision.
of 56 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I used to be younger then you are right now.
of 68 votes, 18% like it
|
I'd rather be a citizen then a consumer.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
|
I'm a child of the universe. Yay me.
of 83 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I'm not afraid of spiders anymore!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I'm not dumping you. I'm restructuring.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
|
I'm not emo! I'm a fucking drama queen.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I'm not really asleep.
of 60 votes, 17% like it
|
I'm pretending I'm here.
of 62 votes, 15% like it
|
I'm suffering from tee writer's block.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
|
I've been quite a disappointment to my family.
of 70 votes, 24% like it
|
If God wanted teens to have sex, He wouldn't have created acne.
of 81 votes, 37% like it
|
If you thought heroin was addictive, wait 'til you try scrabble.
of 64 votes, 27% like it
|
|
In a previous life I wasn't anybody important.
of 48 votes, 27% like it
|
In Monopoly, if you mortgage something, it means you're losing.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
|
It's not you. It's me. I'm allergic to your personality.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
|
|
It's springtime in my pants.
of 49 votes, 27% like it
|
just don't ask me to be a bridesmaid
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Keep your nose to the grindstone, or maybe try plastic surgery.
of 52 votes, 15% like it
|
|
lawyers take rat naps
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
Let me guess: Your three year old is a genius. Is that it?
of 46 votes, 17% like it
|
let's play twister
of 10 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Looking is ok, but drooling is uncool.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
Love me now, while we still have time.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
merrily merrily merrily merrily - life is but a dream
of 37 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Mushroom clouds sure are pretty.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
|
my body: keeping it real
of 36 votes, 19% like it
|
My brain is ashamed of what I want to do right now.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
|
|
my folks were killed on vacation & all I got was this lousy T
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
My Furby died. Hold me.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
|
My life has jumped the shark.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
|
New planet may support life. But do they have pirates?
of 52 votes, 27% like it
|
No cuss words!
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
No one wants to see you dirty dancing.
of 81 votes, 26% like it
|
|
No, actually I haven't looked at your blog lately.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
OMG! I've wasted my youth.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
On my way to Grandma's house.
of 65 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Part of me wants to and part of me is afraid.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
Please be advised: I will not remember your birthday.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
Please stop screaming. I'm trying to *help* you.
of 65 votes, 22% like it
|
|
potential not lived up to.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
Regional Twister Champion. I dare you to step on the mat.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
safely avoiding reality via the internet since 1997
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
send in the clones
of 33 votes, 15% like it
|
Temporary Hormone Imbalance. Stay out of striking distance.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Thank you for not smirking.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
|
|
The hand you're dealt may require some bluffing.
of 68 votes, 26% like it
|
The novel is dead. The tee slogan is the genre of our time.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
Too much niceness is nauseating.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
|
u-nye-loo-lay-doo? (I'm fluent in Furby)
of 35 votes, 20% like it
|
Wake UP, people. Those 'Yoga Mats' conceal WMDs.
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
When the cat's away, the mice will crap on your stuff.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Who put the urine in tambourine?
of 54 votes, 19% like it
|
would you like cries with your unhappy meal?
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
Wow. You really put the 'pee' back in 'speedo'.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
|
|
You are my weakest link, my jepoardy, the wheel of my fortune.
of 50 votes, 20% like it
|
