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TOMongous
TOMongous aka Tom Barstow is a boy, has been a member since August 28, 2007, has scored 94 submissions, giving an average score of 3.86, helping 2 designs get printed.
URL: http://amishbomb.com
AIM: tomongous
This shirt <em>may</em> cause cancer.
of 38 votes, 3% like it
This shirt is powered by open source. Compile, rebuild, improve.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
Lunch: the breakfast of procrastinating champions.
of 65 votes, 40% like it
Laying low & saving flow.
of 50 votes, 6% like it
Breakfast: the dinner of late night champions.
of 55 votes, 24% like it
If a cellphone rings in the woods, does it still get reception?
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Flying invisible cats must be killing all the birds.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Snow is the coolest precipitation.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
Android Arms: The waves of the future.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Police & Doughnuts Partners in crime since 1939.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
Slugs are just homeless snails with no where else to turn.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Computers with arms are going to be the wave of the future.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Owners who love their cats will tell them the dangers of catnip.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I was gonna crowd surf, but I can't find my board.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Even punches thrown by Browns QB's are intercepted.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Chubby Bunny Champion! DNR.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
My computer is the only one who really loves me.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
I'm Pimento, and I'm looking for someone to call my Olive.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Earth is the only real contender on Dancing with the Stars.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
If life gives you oranges don't compare them to apples.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
If at first you don't succeed, reboot and try again.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
The content under the shirt is mature. Sign in to continue.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
You might remember me from the grid.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Fax me a fossil while you're hanging out with all the dinosaurs.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I'm new here. <Map Pin>
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Try 'Silence!', The breakfast of librarians.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
The answer is always know.
of 31 votes, 3% like it
Wake me up when its Friday.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
You're watching me in HD.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
It's way past my bedtime.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
An apple a day keeps the spyware away.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
So do the birds end up marrying the bees? I'm so confused.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
My kind of dealer has 52 business cards.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I'm just a big truck that got stuck in a series of tubes.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
There is no 'we' in 'I'.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Babies. Everywhere.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Check out my goat tee.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Oh the huge mandarin tree!
of 25 votes, 4% like it
"Miss Smartypants" The original edible underwear.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I don't know exactly how this shirt works; I just wear it.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Stupid is as trupid duhz.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
You are special and unique snowflake. Now go melt.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Internets, activate!
of 30 votes, 17% like it
come on over to myspace so I can twitter all over your facebook
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Illegal Aliens: Life On The Run In A UFO.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Scratch n Sniff (What you're smelling is my BO) (in subscript)
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Thinking long and hard about something is still perverted.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Verbs like to do it on paper.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Verbs: making everything happen since invention of language.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Even dumb people know I'm smart.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I'd never unfriend you.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Square pizza is mathematically satisfying because ¶r²
of 11 votes, 18% like it
It's all fun and games until you die.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
My party mix recently went nuts.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
If the moon is made of cheese we're going to need more crackers.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
This show is boring. Someone change the channel.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Excuse me while I ride off into the sunset.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Oh, Hi there. I'll be filling in for David today.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Someone hand me a beer before I remember this.
of 11 votes, 45% like it
If someone will get me a cape, I will attempt to fly.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
My hard drive has several ghosts.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
The fire inside my head is what hurts me the most.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Tiger Woods Is My Future Husband.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
It's Recession Time!
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Adam & Steve: and there wouldn't have been an original sin.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
We're laughing at you, not with you.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Dancing is standing's gay cousin.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I love musicals! when I can find the mute button.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Amish are just die hard retro.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Why do weasels pop? That makes no sense.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
The partying bird eats the tequila worm.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
The early worm is breakfast for an early bird.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Remember: the early worm gets eaten.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Hospitals are no way to treat the injured.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
With all the snowflakes, you'd think there'd be some repeats.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
There's nothing soft about softball.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
If you're a mutant and you know it clap your flippers.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Hey kid, I'm computer! Stop all the downloadin'.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Vegetarians are still eating lifeforms.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Save the whales, ride an orca.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Squirrels can't save this nut.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Got slightly modified cow sweat?
of 12 votes, 8% like it
501 because style 404 denim jeans would be too revealing.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
When life gives you melons get ready for back problems.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Laughter is medicine to the ears.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Ninjas move quicker than the speed of dark.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I even cheat at entering cheat codes.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Areyouclaustrophobic?
of 16 votes, 13% like it
When life gives you lemon hands make everyone squeeze them.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Choose your words wisely, spartan.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Dragons were the hipsters of dinosaur society.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
Gamers do it with their joysticks.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
Today's pirates lack the ability to find and plunder booty.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Firefighters have to fight fire with fire.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
All my ancestors are from the underground.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Could you please rephrase this question in the form of an answer?
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Say it to me in HTML.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Computer nerds do it online.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Uninstall! Uninstall!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Spyware: Blinging out your PC since 1995.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Time travel is real: You lose 3 hours every visit to the airport
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Seat's taken.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Camels aren't the only mammals that like two humps.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I once modified my car to run on only brainpower.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Enough whipped cream will make anything a dessert.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Over the limit under arrest. Over the border forget the offense.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
:Open For Business Sign - Front; Closed For Business Sign - Back:
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I think maybe we should just eat friends.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
My more futuristic recipes call for a wrinkle of thyme.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
My more futuristic recipes call for a wrinkle in thyme.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Record junkies should always use a clean needle.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
I rent to pwn.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Heavy Metal shouldn't be recycled.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
The Rapture is God's hip-hop album.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
MP3s were a sound idea.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Darwin's theory of evolution hasn't evolved much.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
North Koreans have no Seoul.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Fireflies would be much cooler if they were actually on fire.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Slow people need fast food.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
A flying squirrel would make an awesome kite.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Adult stores don't even sell adults.
of 22 votes, 41% like it
Mathematicians are people²
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I'd read books more often if they were movies.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I can spell. :Picture of a wizard's wand:
of 24 votes, 33% like it
You need to speak up: I can't hear you over the voices in my head
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Photos or it didn't happen!
of 26 votes, 8% like it
If you see my car keys tell em I miss em.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Pogo Sticks were on the decline before a quick rebound in the 90s
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Calculators/Rulers/ Protractors -- weapons of Math Instruction.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Directions: there's a map for that.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Kids don't know I'm their dad.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Stilt use is always on the uprise.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Injured Dairy Farmers are the best at milking their benefits.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
I've never met a homeless turtle.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Plan A was my Plan B.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
The Porn Industry: the perfect blend of work and pleasure.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Velcro: keeping grandpa's shoes on since 1941.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
When chimps go bananas bad things can happen.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I've mustered all the ketchup I have.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Oral sex is all fun and games until someone gets an eye poked out
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I'm not suffering from succotash.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
A barrel full of monkeys sounds more like animal abuse.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
Owls are always such a hoot.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Uranus is out of this world!
of 17 votes, 12% like it
UFOs Are Out of This World!
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Nature is a battlefield :Picture/Zebras and Lions in a gun fight:
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Being a door-to-door glue salesperson would become tacky quickly.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Shhh... text me. I'm afraid the elephants might be listening in..
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I'm a botanist looking to plant my stem cells.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Most averages are mean.
of 30 votes, 43% like it
Don't forget to bring an owl.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Nibbles: The original snake on a plane.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
I don't mind if you smoke as long as you don't catch on fire.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Sorry I'm late, I've been wrestling with a python in the bathroom
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Vegetables are just all the fruits that no one wants to adopt.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I'll be back in 20.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Please excuse me while I give myself a haircut.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Don't forget to feed the dog your homework.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
I would enjoy a nice photograph.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
2010, Here I Come!
of 27 votes, 7% like it
This is a shirt. This is a shirt on rugs. Any questions?
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Just give me a cigar and call me sarge.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
You probably haven't heard of me yet; I'm from the underground.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I wish this shirt was all my missing socks.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
The thick brown acid tripped over the lazy hippies.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Despite the name, Fisting is not handfuls of fun.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Sorry my software was acting up cause it was on its trial period
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Keep yo chompas lookn awesome brush em twice a day you flossin'.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Yo mommas so fat we should all help her diet and exercise.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
'Nilla please!
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I wonder if Hummingbirds can hum if you split their tongue?
of 20 votes, 10% like it
The birds and the bees are doing it wrong.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
There's no time for democracy this is GUERILLA.BAS!
of 18 votes, 6% like it
I went to jail and all I did was steal this shirt.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
TSA even wants to scan all angels before they fly into the US.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Meet Prancer: the reindeer that may cause cancer.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Throwing Up: An alcoholics way of giving back to the community!
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Internet Safety: Remember, unseeing images is not yet supported.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Liars: Creators of Great Alternative Endings That Never Aired.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
SUVs would make perfect skates for a giant robot.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
Rollerskates are cars you wear on your feet.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Stunt car drivers do it in the front seat.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Fossils are nature's fruit cake.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Kittens: demon spawn in a cute cuddly wrapper.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I eight a sandbox.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Death: The Final Final Frontier.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I can save you hundreds on car insurance. Stop driving.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
The very late bird gets the tequila worm.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
All my good ideas come to me on the toilet, but some slip by...
of 12 votes, 8% like it
My dream job is being a career criminal; I'll cut you if you tell
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Wham bam thank you m'am. :graphic of woman pic. frame / hammer:
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Where have all the reverse cowgirls gone?
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Sorry, the deli is all out of meet.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Pants: keeping people decent since 1403.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
Who keeps stealing all my hamburgers?
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Please do not modify below this dotted line -------------
of 12 votes, 8% like it
Don't shank me, bro.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Jail isn't as exciting as it sounded on TV.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet
of 14 votes, 14% like it
The Brown Acid quickly jumped over the lazy hippies.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Dinosaurs are in the bible, but they didn't add to the plot.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Corn Dogs: what will they think of next?!
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Grab a tissue we all got issues.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Fishing: once you try it, you're bound to get hooked!
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Gravity: Ruining the moon walk since the invention of Earth.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
If it casts a shadow I'm not interested.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Decapitation: Its not the best way to get a head in life.
of 16 votes, 44% like it
I robbed a bank and all I got was this pen on a chain.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Your ramen is weak! You lack discipline and the lil flavor pack
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Someone poke me with a stick, I think I died and went to heaven.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Where's the freaking van?!
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Cat Litter: Unwanted Waste Or Buried Treasure? You Decide!
of 20 votes, 5% like it
FML Presents: The Young Graduates w/ special guest Unpayable Bill
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Eating mushrooms is like french kissing mold's sexy older sister.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Anonymous is just internet slang for smartass.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Physical challenge!
of 17 votes, 6% like it
This think tank needs a flush handle and a blue biscuit.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
The word 'Dragon' is dinosaur for awesome.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Hot Dogs: Food Industry Recycling In Action!
of 17 votes, 12% like it
It's rumored I'll eat anything if you put between a bun.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Flying: It's not just for the birds anymore.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Who peed all over the floor and made you janitor?
of 18 votes, 6% like it
DO NOT FEED THE HUMANS!
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Dangerous is my mother's friend's third cousin's maiden name.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Vacuums suck, but hair dryers blow.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I'll apologize, but I'm not taking off my galoshes.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Your cold pricalies are slowly killing everyones warm fuzzies.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Zombie Manuals: Night of the Unread.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Why have a floppy drive when you could have a hard disk?
of 18 votes, 11% like it
To err is human. To Error 404 is file not found.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Computers do it with 1s and 0s.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I'd take a shower if opening an umbrella inside wasn't bad luck.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Help us save the whales! (for a blubber-filled dessert).
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Knowing how to battle is half the battle.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I ban bad IPs.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
Barking spiders are very hard to spot, but can easily be smelled.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Checkers: Chess With Training Wheels.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Split happens. (6-10 Split Picture Below Slogan)
of 20 votes, 10% like it
UFO abduction's all fun and games until you're ALIENated.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
You and your 8-track mind...
of 17 votes, 29% like it
VHS is still in BETA.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I'm taking medication for my drug dependencies.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Where My Invisible Dogs At?
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Kicks: Martial Arts Tested, Sensei Approved.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Lets all go Paperless. Step 1: Read the printed instructions.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Nightmares: Ruining the Dream Since Forever.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
My other car is a computer. (I telecommute.)
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Santana Will Not Bring You Gifts.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Cakes Mix Everything Batter.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I'd pay more attention, but the conversion rate isn't that great.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Frag 'em all-- let the admin sort them out.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
It's not the spork that bends...
of 31 votes, 3% like it
There is no spoon... but I do see a fork.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
News Bulletin: Spooning may lead to Forking.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
It's not easy bein' easy.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
You think you can talk your way out of this conversation?
of 22 votes, 27% like it
How many iPhone killers does it take to kill an iPhone?
of 29 votes, 7% like it
If I appear to be dead, then feel free to poke me with a stick.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Thanks for finding me, but our princess is in another castle.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
My Other Shirt Is Still In Beta
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I'm terrible at sports. I can't even surf the Internets.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
It's going to be 'OK'; just click 'Cancel'.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Many cotton balls dyed so I could be free to wear this t-shirt.
of 27 votes, 37% like it
Falwless Tpying
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Designers do it with style.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Pirates do their duty to find that booty.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Keep Threadless Legal. Vote Yes On Issue 5$.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
Cyborgs are humans too-- just slightly more evil & robotic.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Silent esses are Illinoising.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
My other shirt was a symbiote.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Computer nerds will do anything to get into your box.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
I got 10011001 problems, but reading binary ain't one.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
This shirt may cause cancer.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
... Our powers combined! We're all stuck on the same planet...
of 31 votes, 10% like it
...watched a movie on the big bang and it wasn't what I expected.
of 17 votes, 0% like it
1.cover me in slime 2.sit me down on a big orange couch 3.bask
of 26 votes, 0% like it
;-Pd-: Even Smileys Need Some Lovin' ;-Pd-:
of 31 votes, 10% like it
;-Pd-: Even Smilies Need Some Lovin' :-Pd-:
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Adam & Steve and there wouldn't haven't been an original sin.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Adware? Everywhere!
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Amerigo loved it and left it.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Anyone care to tell me why Oscar is always such a grouch?
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Anyone who wants to sit in a plane these days is just plane high.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
Are you sure you want to live in the recycle bin?
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Aw, hell nah, whazzup dawg?
of 20 votes, 0% like it
Baseball: America's Past Pastime
of 13 votes, 0% like it
Beer me now? Good.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Being drunk is better than being drank.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Being too nosey might make some think you're an A/S/L?
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Bicycles: the unicycles that have a training wheel.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Boogers: It's what's for Dinner! (When You're 5)
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Bottles In Front Of Me :-) Frontal Lobotomy :-(
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Cannibals liked to try a bite of everything.
of 13 votes, 0% like it
Cash, Money, Women-- It's never enough... give me some smores!
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Chalupas!
of 18 votes, 0% like it
Cheerleaders always cheered me-- way up.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Cheesing won't get you high, but it just might get you noticed.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Clothing, huh? What will they think of next!
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Come on now tobacco-- don't stop 'til you get a cough!
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Cows sure do know how to milk it.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Creepy peephole.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Crop circles are just alien spirographs
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Cuddly tigers, puffy dragons.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Darwin was very evolved with his family.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Dinosaur farts aren't a type of fossil fuel.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Disco isn't dead it just got a bad groin injury from doing splits
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Do not resuscitate. Instead please poke me with a stick.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Don't all zombies like turtles?
of 28 votes, 4% like it
Don't blame me if I blame you.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Don't forget to feed the dog your homework.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Don't just stand there! Do something!
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Don't lie to me Argentina.
of 27 votes, 7% like it
Don't look... I'm unzipping some files.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Don't make me laugh (I'm allergic).
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Don't make me spank you in public!
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Early to bed, early to rise... fish like worms, tell no lies.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Every movie is reel.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
Excellent work-- afro the day.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
Excessive Alcohol: Guaranteed to give ya the warm fuzzies!
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Fast food never tasted so slow.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Faster, Cody Wants A Pony!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Flame on! :Smore Ingredients With Marshmallow On Fire:
of 24 votes, 0% like it
Flying saucers will reveal broken plates.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
FML Presents: The 100,000 Dollar Papers feat. The Deferments.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Fresh Homemade Lemonade 25¢ Dispenses Below.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Fun is best injected.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Funnel cakes are no good when it comes to doing an oil change.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
FYI FYL
of 25 votes, 0% like it
Get Bent. (image: speakn spell/keyboard/ with wires hang out)
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Girls don't poop unless you count having babies.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
God originally wanted his Venus next to Uranus.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Goodnightkist. A new soda from the makers of sleeping pills.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Hairballs: edible finger food or just for cats? You decide.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Happy New Year! I spent mine with Tiger.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Hey, What Are You Doing Over There?
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Homemade Coffee Creamer Only 55¢ Dispenses Below. Squeeze H
of 29 votes, 0% like it
How can olive oil be extra virgin when pimento is getting it on?
of 14 votes, 0% like it
How many cougars do you think one Tiger could entertain?
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Hulk Hogan's Heros :Hulk Hogan drop kicking Col. Klink drop:
of 18 votes, 0% like it
I > U Just a theorem.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I 'p'eed in your 'ool'.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I ain't easy bein young wheezy.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
I always keep an extra banana in my pocket.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I am the team leader. Everyone defend the base.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
I believe in my barber because he told me I have been shaved.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I challenge you to try copying this text into your PCs clipboard!
of 20 votes, 0% like it
I cry bullets, I sneeze rockets, I crap grenades Im a MACHINE!
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I don't know who exactly this shirt works, I just wear it.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I expect the expect values.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I feel like a million bucks that just got lucky with a doe.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I got 0x63 problems, but reading hex ain't one.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
I had to take out a loan for all this candy.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
I heard NASA's top engineers have fully developed wockets.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
I heard that NASA has plans to send a red rocket into Uranus.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I know my shirt is loud that's why I'm wearing ear plugs.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I miss all the trans fat...
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I prefer to call slugs the homeless snails.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I roll with the get-a-long gang and we only commit love crimes.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I Smell Like Pizza!
of 20 votes, 10% like it
I stole this shirt and all I got was a few years in jail.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I think the TV will tell us what to do next.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I upload huge WAD files.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
I was an Internet sensation & all I got was this lousy t-shir
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I was going for more of a poop brown.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
I will steal your meal.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I wish you'd uninstall your t-shirt.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I'd blame the recession.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I'd dance, but my DDR shoes had a blowout last night in comp.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
I'll give you a dollar to leave and never come back.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
I'll Have 1 Sugar With Coffee & Creme.
of 14 votes, 0% like it
I'll have a hamburger sandwich (Double up on the buns).
of 10 votes, 0% like it
I'll open a can of whoop ass on you... if you play me online.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
I'll see you at the webinar.
of 13 votes, 0% like it
I'm a sad panda too.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
I'm dreaming of a bigger burger.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
I'm freaking out man!
of 7 votes, 0% like it
I'm never satisfied unless you're satisfied.
of 18 votes, 0% like it
I'm thinking about overclocking this t-shirt...
of 24 votes, 4% like it
If a spotted egg hatched into a dinosaur I'd ride it too!
of 9 votes, 0% like it
IF all ELSE fail;
of 33 votes, 12% like it
If at first you don\'t succeed, try not using your hands.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
If BSOD occurs and no one is logged in does it still make a beep?
of 22 votes, 0% like it
If it's not on the top 3 search results it never really happened.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
If you can't chop it up on a mirror I don't want any.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
In Soviet Russia, Trolololo makes you cry like little girl.
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Inputs vs. Outputs
of 13 votes, 0% like it
It appears as though someone got hit with the fugly stick.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
It's more like a Lion/Cheetah Woods!
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Livin' la diva locusts!?!
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Make A Wish & Blow Really Hard
of 32 votes, 6% like it
Martin and I share a toothbrush.
of 13 votes, 0% like it
Mechanical hearts: they're not just for cyborgs anymore!
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Mice: Nature's latest fun-filled snack.
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Mind if I 8 your sandbox?
of 20 votes, 0% like it
Most people know better then to use than in place of then.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Most unicorns love to skateboard, but only a few can do a 900.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Music, eh? I'll give it a listen...
of 43 votes, 21% like it
My cat ate your tuna.
of 19 votes, 0% like it
My computer is the only one who loves me, but I gave it spyware.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
My IT department is Skynet.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
My Love For You Is P-R-N-(D)-2-1 (Automatic)
of 21 votes, 5% like it
My other car is a computer.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
My other car is in the junkyard.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
My other shirt has a cape and visible underwear.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My PC inputs fails for breakfast and outputs epic wins for lunch
of 9 votes, 0% like it
My programming is very IFfy.
of 19 votes, 0% like it
No one wants to eight a sandbox, but even people do.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Noing houh two spel korectly is four idieits.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Octo-mom? I only count 1 set of legs!
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Our survey says..!
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Pardon my air guitar someone stole my last air guitar.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Permanent Black Markers: Smell The Best!
of 27 votes, 7% like it
Pimp Your Tee: Simply install the LCD here, then add some chrome
of 31 votes, 6% like it
Please direct me to the nearest set of monkey bars.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Plugging in your laptop should brighten up your day.
of 18 votes, 0% like it
Potty mouth is a nasty way to word anything if you think about it
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Poultry Prince Was Banished From The Fast Food Kingdom
of 31 votes, 3% like it
Pretend you're a pirates booty & I'll bring the plunder.
of 14 votes, 0% like it
Recent studies have indicated this study's data is outdated.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Red meat can take a seat.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Round pizza shouldn't exist because everyone knows ¶r²
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Sardines :Yeah: & Pork N' Beans.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Shake Weights, the Only Weights You Can Drink With A Straw.
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Sing it if you ping it! &#9835; Internet where U at &#983
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Sippin' On Some Scissors?
of 27 votes, 4% like it
Smile or it didn't happen.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Smile or it doesn't count.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Smoking may lead to combustion.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Sorry I'm always late; my alarm clock is on an extended vacation.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Square pizza is mathematically satisfying because &#960;r&sup
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Square pizza would be more mathematically satisfying.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Stand by your van, even if it breaks down on you.
of 18 votes, 0% like it
Street fighters aren't as near as cool as the consoles portrayed.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Superflies 'til they die.
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Survival of the fitness test.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Texas Toast sounds kinda dry and scorpion filled.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Thanks for bringing a toolbox. ------->
of 8 votes, 0% like it
The circle never tasted so good. <Donuts Below Slogan>
of 20 votes, 10% like it
The man of my dreams is Freddy.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
The Monring After Pill: 1 Pill Now or 10,000 Asprin Later.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
The Porn Stars Are Coming!
of 32 votes, 6% like it
The radio is the soundtrack to your grand theft auto.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
The sky is falling! (It's also called rain)
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Thespacebarisoverrated.
of 13 votes, 0% like it
This is one pirate who doesn't know anything about sailing.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
This Shirt Is Hood &Thrown' It Up!
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Tiger Woods vs. Lion Cheetah LGA 2010
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Today's forecast: 100 percent chance of pain.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Too many twos to know what to do. <Someone Dumbfounded, Writin
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Tree kangaroos love to hang out, but they're also known to bounce
of 11 votes, 0% like it
Velcro: keeping lazy peoples shoes on since 1941.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Wet dreams are made of these... :Picture of a tadpole:
of 17 votes, 12% like it
When I drink sober people drive me... CRAZY!
of 8 votes, 0% like it
When life gives you 100,000 dead fish your life stinks.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Which one of your bosses peed on the floor n' made you a janitor?
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Who cares where Waldo is... I'm looking for Lucky.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Who lives in dumpster under the tree? Drunk Bob No Pants.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Who would have thought pigs would taste so good?
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Women look hotter when they're next to an oven.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
You can e-mail me now even tho I'm riding the wave of the future.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
You should probably wash your hands before you eat that booger.
of 17 votes, 0% like it
You'd always be blue if you were that small too.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
You're Inglesh Suchs.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
You're mom is extra hot when she's next to the oven.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Your dreams have been sharted.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Your ramen is weak! You lack discipline and the lil favor pack.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Zits: you never know when they're going to pop up!
of 11 votes, 0% like it

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